series. The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya
character/pairing. Haruhi-centric, Haruhi/Kyon
prompt. 14 // The diary of a middle school student (written for 31_days_exchnge)
word count. 300
summary. ‘Just like other girls?’ She feels sick; the words feel bitter on her tongue
disclaimer. The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya belongs to Tanigawa Nagaru
She hates being ordinary.
( but she’s only too aware how ordinary she really is )
She hates to admit it, but Kyon is right sometimes. When he says they’re not careless enough to let you find them in one day, a part of her says yeah, maybe you’re right for once but it doesn’t deter her. She has to find them. And they must be interesting, even if they’re not.
( because anything is more interesting than life as she knows it )
She knows she’s got a reputation: smart, beautiful, talented, totally crazy. She knows the totally crazy part sticks most in everyone’s opinion of her, but she doesn’t care. Having a reputation means that, at the very least, she stands out a little.
But it doesn’t stop her living the same kind of life as everyone else. As much as everyone thinks she doesn’t conform, all she does is conform. All she does is live up to everybody else’s expectations.
But she wants to live up to her own expectations.
( and even then, she falls short )
She can hardly admit it, even to herself, but sometimes she’s just like other girls.
Just like other girls? She feels sick; the words feel bitter on her tongue, but those urges, that feeling she sometimes gets around Kyon… she knows she’s not the only girl to feel that way.
As much as she likes to deny being just like them, she’s not stupid. She knows what it means.
( why did it have to be him? plain, ordinary him )
She’s determined to make her life different from everyone else’s.
She wants excitement. She wants unique. She wants special.
She needs change.
( but which will change: her or the world? )
She doesn’t know it, but change is inevitable.
( at least it is when she wants it )